“No, I don’t have a flannel shirt” and other lies lesbians tell

by Jenna
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Funny things that lesbians say
  • Of course I want you, a straight man, to join me and my girlfriend, that’s the only reason why I became a lesbian, to get more D

 

  • My shower needs grouting, but I don’t have a chisels, lol jokes, I’ve got like 12

 

 

  • I love it when my girlfriend and me sync up, dual PMT is just the best thing and really makes us feel more in love and in no way makes us question our relationship, life and the universe

 

  • It was a complete choice yeah, I took one look in the mirror and thought, yup I’m way too ugly to get a man, it’s the lesbian life for me

 

  • I actually don’t agree with recycling, veganism or the rights of animals, I just want to see the world burn

 

  • I’d love to get married to my girlfriend, but only if we can keep all the same patriarchal sexism, misogynist traditions of a straight wedding. 

 

  • Actually I do fancy all straight girls (actually we do, girls are hot, amiright?)

 

  • I don’t know how we have sex either, we just go on the lesbian category on porn hub and copy what those two gorgeous straight girls do

 

  • I dress like a man because I just want to be a man, it’s nothing to do with the clothing being more comfortable, more to my liking or the fact that I prefer skulls to flowers, no it’s all because of the penis envy. I just really want a penis. 

 

  • “Man up”. Having a googly floppy willy doesn’t make you mentally stronger, it makes you smelly and more prone to starting wars, earning more per hour and having an unnecessary urge to spread your legs wide on public transport. But it doesn’t make you deal with situations better. Silly



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