A funny love letter to my girlfriend who is in no way imaginary and has definitely not driven me straight from the dating scene into an asylum
As a lesbian, it’s a shame I’ll never marry a man—mainly because you guys earn more. I could really use a breadwinner so I could stay home… eating bread.
You’re a lesbian, which is a big red flag because how are you going to mess with my head if there’s an actual possibility that you’d be interested in me?
A homophobic man from a homophobic cult said something homophobic. In other news, water is wet and the sky is blue.
It’s mental health awareness week. Have we all been aware? Shit, I’ve been too busy binge-eating myself stupid to be aware.Â
When going on a first date, one must, of course, hide their crap tattoos, shortcomings and unfavourable personality traits. But what else?
Oh dear, we were a mess last night weren’t we? Shots on a Monday, asking the guy at McDonald’s if we could walk through the drive-through on all fours to get fries because the main restaurant was closed.
Obviously, there are no differences between men and women because gender is a social construct and time is an illusion and we’re all just lizards, but also, men and women are different.