I’ve never been a fan of poetry. I always thought it was just some wanky rubbish that boring people pretend …
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I’d rather drink bin juice than enter the ladies’ singles tournament again.
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Yes, but only if you bribe people with it so that they’ll love you and never leave
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Dear young fresh faced Jenna, here’s a bit of friendly advice from the older you who has very much got …
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If you’re just dying to be my Valentine because you’ve heard how funny I am, how good I am in …
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Does she think that I also have abs? I don’t have abs! I mean, I do actually have abs, as in abdominal muscles; it’s …