I’m a fat depressed lesbian and here are my successes (there’s not many) and epic fails (there are so many) of dating women

It’s easy to spot a group of lesbians because they’ll all be dressed like men, wearing comfortable shoes and sporting short hair cuts. But why do lesbians have short hair?

You may think that Windsor is full of royals, tourists and a fuck load of swans. And you’d be right, the place is bloody full of them.

I don’t want to seem like the most selfish prick on earth, but when can I go on holiday again?

You know those people who are all wanky and go to Bali to practice meditation and wellness and stuff. Well, I did that for my 30th birthday and it was bloody smashing.

They’re not together anymore but I like to remind them of that happy day when they decided to get married and eventually have my brother (a mistake) and me (a blessing)