I went on a date with my “dream woman”. It turns out that the criteria for my “dream woman” is somewhat lacking…
Is life drawing just for dirty perverts who want to look at stranger’s genitals? Well, I certainly hope not because that’s what my date suggested we do for our date this week.
But have I actually achieved anything? Is my name a form of profanity? Is my mum a virgin? And has my dad ever done a hard day’s work in his life?
I was in a car chase the other day, obviously, I wasn’t the one doing the chasing, bitch please, I’ve got a Dacia, the only thing I’m chasing is a parked car…
I don’t plan on kicking the bucket any time soon, (although obviously the promise of eternal oblivion will be somewhat of a relief) but I thought that it’s probably about time that I start living…
I know they couldn’t represent EVERY form of woman in just one film, but seriously, where were all the lezzies?
Hi, it’s your favourite self-defeatist lezzie nut job here… I need help again.
Obviously being a lesbian is the best thing a woman can be, but sometimes I dream of being straight…