A homophobic man from a homophobic cult said something homophobic. In other news, water is wet and the sky is blue.
It’s mental health awareness week. Have we all been aware? Shit, I’ve been too busy binge-eating myself stupid to be aware.
When going on a first date, one must, of course, hide their crap tattoos, shortcomings and unfavourable personality traits. But what else?
Oh dear, we were a mess last night weren’t we? Shots on a Monday, asking the guy at McDonald’s if we could walk through the drive-through on all fours to get fries because the main restaurant was closed.
Obviously, there are no differences between men and women because gender is a social construct and time is an illusion and we’re all just lizards, but also, men and women are different.
I can’t have kids. I mean physically I can, but mentally, CHRIST NO, why on earth would anyone want to put themselves through that?
The woman at the gym offered me her last chocolate – that’s basically a marriage proposal, right?
A good bra is like a good friend, supportive, reliable and constantly touching your boobs.