I wouldn’t say that I’m done with living, but I’d like to take a wee hiatus on this whole “being an adult” thing. I’d therefore like to check myself into your establishment, please.
Is Poetry Just for Pretentious, Dull Lesbians Who Have Too Many Feelings? (Yes, Yes It Is)
I’ve never been a fan of poetry. I always thought it was just some wanky rubbish that boring people pretend to like in order to sound smart.
I’d rather drink bin juice than enter the ladies’ singles tournament again.
Yes, but only if you bribe people with it so that they’ll love you and never leave
Dear young fresh faced Jenna, here’s a bit of friendly advice from the older you who has very much got her shit together…
If you’re just dying to be my Valentine because you’ve heard how funny I am, how good I am in the sack, or how big my bank balance is (two truths and a lie, Jenna, not three lies), then here are my rules:
Does she think that I also have abs? I don’t have abs!
I mean, I do actually have abs, as in abdominal muscles; it’s just you can’t see them under the layers of cheeseburgers, doughnuts and beer.
I am not responsible for other people’s happiness My breasts are sisters, not twins