When I was younger I came out as bisexual. What? But Jenna I thought you were a full-on doughnut bumper, what with your short hair, tattoos and butch waistcoat?
Don’t worry, I am indeed 100% lesbian now, but I thought that it would be easier to come out as bisexual rather than full-blown gay because bisexuals get an easier deal, don’t they?
OMG BISEXUALS GET SUCH A ROUGH DEAL. WE GET ALL THE SAME DISCRIMINATION AND STIGMA AS YOU!!! Calm yourselves bisexuals… it’s bantz.
I soon realised that I was too indecisive to be bisexual. E.g. My partner and I take a least half an hour to decide which toothpaste to buy let alone which restaurant to go to.
My life would be a lot easier if I lived in North Korea.
If I wanted to get a new hair cut I’d pick from what, like 3? If I needed a suitcase, I’d have a choice of 1. And if I needed a political opinion… Again, I’d have a choice of 1. That’s the sort of decisiveness I need in my life.
My parents soon realised that I was a lesbian and not just bisexual when I only brought women round for dinner, and let me tell you, there was A LOT of women.
That’s a lie, I’ve had like 2 girlfriends and one can be called a girlfriend at an absolute push. What only 2 Jenna? But you’re such a hot babe! I KNOW RIGHT?!
I feel sorry for bisexuals though, because when they’re on a night out, unless they want a threesome, they’ve got to decide whether they want dick or vag.
I mean, sometimes they’ll want to sit on a fat cock and ride it like one of those children’s coin-operated rides outside Tesco, and sometimes they want to fine dine at the caviar table before having a cuddle and a packet of biscuits.
I know which one I’d prefer. My partner and I can get through 4 packets on a slow Thursday evening.