It wasn’t that long ago that a woman coming out as a lesbian would be a career-ender. I’m talking about celebrities and famous people, not us mere peasants, seriously, who gives a shit who the Asda checkout woman is sleeping with?
(Me, but that’s just cause I’m really bloody nosey. You’re sleeping with who? Sorry, these beans were meant to be half price).
It can still be difficult for women to come out as gay, but take comfort in the fact that it used to be a lot worse! And if you can’t take comfort in that, then at least take comfort in the knowledge that you’ll soon be dead and no one will care who you liked to sleep with.
Anyway, back to the doughnut bumpers. Here are just a few of the most notable coming out stories that I’ve found really interesting and thought I’d share them with you. How kind of me.
You know that short-haired, trouser wearing, super lesbian Ellen Degeneres? Well, apparently people didn’t know that she was a lesbian, so in 1997 44 million people tuned into her TV sitcom called Ellen, (zero points for originality) to watch her become the first character from a huge sitcom to come out as a lesbian.
As you can imagine, people were nae happy.
Her sitcom wasn’t cancelled straight away, but the television company did put a lovely disclaimer at the beginning of each episode warning that there may be themes that are inappropriate for children. The ratings dropped and the show was eventually cancelled.
The Jesus loving Americans protested against Ellen with placards reading “stop promoting immorality”, “Jesus hates fags” and “Ellen is going to hell”. I think you’ll find she’s going to the bank, mate. And she’s laughing all the way there…
Say what you like about these these crazy bigoted, sexist, homophobes, but they certainly know how to make a placard.
In 2016 Ellen Degeneres was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her work in the LGBT community, proof of just how far America had come. That is of course until just two months later when a droopy-stained flesh bag was elected President of the USA and took a great big dump on the progress made by the LGBT and female equality campaigns.
The First (out) UK Lesbian MP
In 1974, the UK Labour MP Maureen Colquhoun was the first openly gay MP, which annoyed many people because when she was elected, she was married to a man. After coming out as a lesbian she was disowned by the Labour Party and deselected as an MP because how on earth can a woman represent the plight of the people if she isn’t a fan of the D?
Of course, these days the Labour Party wouldn’t dare throw someone out of their party for being gay. Jewish perhaps, but not gay. (Oh look, political satire, how pleasing).
Billie Jean King
When tennis superwoman Billie Jean King came out, it wasn’t of her own accord. She was outed by her hairdresser girlfriend when they broke up and the hairdresser filed a palimony lawsuit. Basically, she wanted money after they separated, and filing the lawsuit outed Billie as a lesbian.
Again, how people didn’t know that she was a lesbian amazes me. It’s like when my mum says that no one knew George Michael was gay. WHAT?! You didn’t know that the guy with one earring, who wore seriously tight jeans and had better hair than every woman was a friend of Dorothy?
Her very public outing caused BJ King (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a brilliant drag name for someone who gives good blow jobs) to lose $2 million in endorsements and caused her to delay retiring from tennis.
I have a similar situation with my mortgage provider. They want me to pay them back the money I owe, causing me to seriously delay my “retire by 30” plan. Bastards.
Many other famous lesbians have also been dropped by their particular shows, sponsors and even charities. Sandi Toksvig was dropped as a spokesperson for the Save The Children charity.
Because on one hand, they want the children to be saved but on the other hand they don’t want them saved by a woman who kisses other women.
Someone else who you may not know is a massive lesbian is Kate Winslet. She likes to keep it a secret and does this well by exclusively marrying men, but she is definitely a lesbian and we are definitely going to be together, just not yet.
Though why she is taking her sweet bloody time about it is beyond me.
Coming Out Now
Nowadays, a celebrity or person in power coming out as a lesbian rouses fewer protests and is normally just met with lots of straight people saying, ‘I never would’ve guessed!’.
But just because it’s easier for celebrities to come out, do they have a responsibility to do so? I say yes. Next question?
‘But what about this?!’ or ‘What about that?!’ I hear some of you cry.
Ok, if it’s safe for them to come out then they definitely should. We need more representation in all industries and walks of life. Plus, the more people who come out the more others will feel safe to do so, the more gay kids won’t get bullied in school, and the more famous lesbians I’ll have in my wank bank.