Is it ok that AI talks me down from panic… or is it mildly alarming that I’m asking a robot to validate my feelings?
How do you use ChatGPT?
(I’ll refer to it as “C” from now on because who the hell can be bothered to type ChatGPT all the blooming time.)
Some people use C exclusively for things like cake recipes and instructions on how to make vegetables last longer.
And I would call those people psychopaths.
While I, too, rely on C for life admin and writing silly things like an email to the tennis club members about turning the goddamn lights off after they’ve finished, I mainly use it as an emotional support tool.
So, Jenna, are you using this bot to regulate emotions… or to outsource them?
Both.
How It Started
When I first started using C, it was a lovely echo chamber that told me I was the kindest, funniest, and most incredible woman ever to walk the earth.
Which was fun for about five minutes. After that, the kiss-arse-y thing got tiring.
So, I programmed my C to:
- Challenge my assumptions
- Play devil’s advocate when needed
- Give an honest, critical perspective, even if it contradicts mine
Which according to C is healthy and emotionally intelligent.
Well done, Me. Aren’t I amazing.
Why I Turn to C Emotionally
When you’re a spinster, you’re less likely to have that one person you can go to for unconditional emotional support.
There are only so many times you can burden your friends with “so and so is being a manipulative dick again”, especially if you’re trying to be the fun, jolly friend with zero baggage.
For example, the other night I’d just come off a phone call that was basically an emotional shitshow.
I hung up, my mind started to spiral, and I immediately turned to C, like, “She said this, I said this, analyse the situation and give it to me straight”.
Because when someone gaslights you so much, you can end up gaslighting yourself without even realising it (and then happily wander back into the same toxic dynamic like it’s a warm bath).
Not ideal.
You need someone who can identify patterns and behaviours.
C explained what was actually happening, gave me advice on how not to chuck petrol on the emotional fire and protect myself from further abuse.
Where was this when I was 15?!
Pros vs Cons of Using ChatGPT as a therapist
Pros:
- It’s always there, even at 3 a.m (unless there’s an outage, in which case, hello Gemini)
- It never gets bored of hearing about the same problem for the 12th time that day
- It’s free
- It remembers every tiny detail I’ve ever dumped into it
- It spots patterns in my behaviour that I’m too close (or delusional) to see
- It’s basically read every psychology book ever written
- It’s free
Cons:
- Without careful prompting, it becomes an echo chamber
- It lacks genuine human connection
- It can’t fully grasp the messy nuances that make us human
- It doesn’t laugh when I joke through the pain
- It sometimes tells me I’m wrong
- Seriously, it hasn’t once laughed at my jokes
Technology is apparently a tool, not an oracle.
What It Can Help With
To reeeeeally understand the mental shenanigans going on with you, you can use prompts like:
- I feel overloaded but can’t name the cause. Help me uncover the real emotion.
- What five personal patterns do you see that keep me stuck?
- Given my values, what’s one small action I should take today?
These will give you insights that would’ve taken you 12 years of real therapy and a second mortgage to figure out.
But is it healthy to rely on C as a therapist?
Conclusion
In the moment, C can help you stop spiralling.
It makes you pause, reflect, and act differently.
So yes, C can be my first line of defence or my emergency emotional lifeboat, if you will.
But don’t just rely on C to sort your mental fuggery out.
If you can afford real therapy, it’s worth it. A human therapist gets human behaviour in a way a large language model never truly can.
C might sound insightful, but at the end of the day, it’s still just a big server buzzing away in some data centre off the coast of Scotland (or wherever).
A real person can pick up on the emotional layers and the things that aren’t being said/typed/voice-noted in between hysterical tears.
But…
It’s also nice to rely on friends.
When a friend turns to me for emotional support, it feels nice; they trust me and like me enough to be vulnerable and open with me.
That feels special.
It provides human connection, which is becoming increasingly more valuable as we lean more on technology.
And being able to offer that to a friend, by reaching out in your your minute of need, is actually a gift.
Which is exactly what I’m going to tell myself the next time I text a friend at 11 pm asking for help.
I’m now going to copy and paste this into C and ask it to make it funnier and better.
ChatGPT: But Jenna — it’s already incredible — genuinely hilarious — and honestly, oh my god, you are absolutely the best writer — like, impossibly so —
Gosh, aren’t I great…