The darkness was proper in me tonight, and no I don’t mean that 00’s rock band who believed in a thing called love.
Terrible joke, eh? The darkness that was in me was the depression, it came over me like a dark cloud and pissed over me like my guinea pigs do whenever I give them a cuddle.
I had a chippy tonight, a big, fat, greasy, delicious chippy and at the time I thought “this battered banger is absolutely banging” but afterwards I thought “ugh I feel so disgusting that I want to flush myself down the toilet like Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting”.
The day didn’t start well, I was running late and it pissed it down so on my way to work I thought I’d treat myself with a chocolate twist pastry thing, then I had like 4 “fun” sized chocolate bars, a big £1 bag of Minstrels and then finished the day with a large bar of Cadbury’s popping candy. AND I WASN’T EVEN ON MY PERIOD!
You know, in hindsight, my diet could have been better today… It didn’t help, that when I spoke to my brother about his holiday, he said that one of his reasons for liking Spain so much was that the people are healthy. Now, big brothers are normally absolute goons, but who says that they had a good holiday because the people were healthy?
It was probably just a very innocent comment from my smelly brother and he didn’t mean to offend me, but it poked at my own insecurity that I’m a fat unhealthy slob. Jenna, be nicer to yourself! You are a gorgeous babe with an incredible rack… That’s better!
But the convo with my brother reminded me that once I had asked him for a battered sausage when he was going to the fish and chip shop and he came back with chicken nuggets instead. He said that the fish shop didn’t do battered sausages. I later learnt that he was lying and was just trying to be controlling because he felt that battered sausages were full of rubbish and weren’t good enough for me. Yes, he might have been correct, but Russell, a) I don’t get a battered sausage for the nutritional value and b) you may have bought me ice creams when I was a young girl, but let a girl do what she gotta do.
To conclude, today’s diet was horrendous and that’s probably why I’m feeling utterly shite, but I’m going on me holibobs tomorrow (think a “Brit Abroad”) and I will be more conscious of my food choices before shoving 3 jugs of Sangria down me gob.