My Clothes and Other Ways I Was Asking for It

If I’m showcasing my ample assets, that’s me letting you know that I’m a bit of a Shag-around-Sharon! And if it’s got to the stage of the night where I’ve taken my heels off then that’s a double YES!

    • Ignore all the “nos” that I’m shouting, we both know that I’ve only dressed this way to ask for trouble and not because I like the outfit and should be able to wear what I want


    • You know when I’m unconscious face down in my own sick? That’s me saying “absolutely mate, bash on”.


    • Scantily-clad? Yeah, you got me again, go ahead and upskirt me before posting the picture online


    • If you can describe my outfit using any of the adjectives that the Daily Mail use then it’s an absolute go go #leggydisplay


    • I’m your wife, so I said “yes” once, do you really need me to keep repeating myself?


    • If I have a) been openly talking about sex, b) invited you back to my hotel room or c) flirted with you at some point, then what was I expecting? Cor, I can be such a silly Sally sometimes!


    • If you’re famous or rich OR EVEN BETTER: THE PRESIDENT! Then yeah, just climb on top


  • If you’re a promising white middle-class man then I’m not really giving you consent per se, but there will be like 0 repercussions #winning

It goes both ways, those ugly ass guys who hang around with just a pair of shorts on are telling everyone that they’re ready for an unwanted aggressive shag from a stranger. Right?