Lesbian bed death: What is it and why have we stopped banging?

Lesbian bed death is an actual thing, people deny it and say it doesn’t exist, but it does.

It’s when a lesbian couple who’ve been together for a long period of time and the sexual fire has died down a bit and you stop having sex. Or just have a lot less sex than everyone else. But how much sex is everyone else having? Absolutely flipping loads if you ask them, but like not even half as much if you actually hide in their bedroom and record them.


There could be a few reasons why a lesbian couple stops having sex, here are a few:

  • You’re not right for each other (but really, if your relationship is based on how much sex you have, then you got bigger problems gurl)
  • You’re both so hot that you can’t bare touch each other through fear of being burnt
  • Er life is tiring and like, who has time?
  • You’ve gotten too comfortable and need to spice things up by changing out of those ketchup stained joggers and putting on something a bit more alluring
  • Stop masturbating, seriously, let someone else in on all that goodness
  • One of you likes someone else, best address that issue before you start undressing each other (or someone else)


  • Stop putting pressure on your sex life, nothing is a bigger turn off than scheduling sexy time in your Google Calendar
  • Try other forms of intimacy. Why not try giving each other a massage, a foot rub or squeeze each other’s blackheads?
  • Discover new things, e.g. certain toys, positions, locations, outfits or fetishes
  • Date night, do something fun, wear your best clothes (or no clothes) and focus on being nice to each other (don’t moan about the fact that your partner always leaves her toenails down the side of the sofa)
  • Look after your physical and mental health, no one wants to finger bang after you’ve been crying over a stuffed crust pizza

Lesbian bed death happens to every couple of every gender, no one keeps having the same amount of sex that they did at the beginning of the relationship so don’t worry about it. Unless it’s becoming a problem! In which case, have a little chat with your partner and try to find out the real reasons why you’re not having as much sex.

If you’re still in love and you still have intimate moments then fab! If you’re not and you think that the lack of bumping uglies is a sign of bigger things then you’ve got more problems than a lack of orgasm… Life is short, be happy.