You’ve been separated from your ex-fiance for 3 months now and it’s time to put your big girl pants on and move on.
You’ve just spent the best and worst two weeks of your life travelling across America with said ex and you’ve eaten, drunk and consumed your yearly recommended allowance of food, alcohol and feelings.
Bbz, enough is enough.
It’s time to sort your shit out because no one is going to want to shag a miserable lard arse who’s stuck in the past.
The next time you see your ex is at your friend’s wedding in December and holy mother of God, you are going to look HOT. I mean ridiculously hot. And mentally you’re going to be so happy that’ll you’ll no longer be spending your evenings crying into a tub of chocolate ganache.
Basically, “peak Jenna”.
How are you going to do that? Well, that’s the annoying bit. You’re going to have to go back to doing intermittent fasting, Jenna’s form of keto, all the therapy and trying new things out of your comfort zone.
Yes, that all sounds very exhausting, but believe me, it will be worth it.
Don’t worry your pretty little head about the crap you ate and felt on holiday, you had the best time and those 12 waffles, 6 double cheese burgers and endless arguments won’t matter one little bit in a few weeks.
So let’s do this.
Hang on, why are we posting this letter online instead of just keeping it on our hard drive with the thousands of other letters we’ve written to ourself?
Well, because we know how successful we’ve been losing weight by posting about it online, this is like that. You’ve told people you’re going to sort your shit out, so now you’ve got to.
Why do we keep writing letters to ourself?
I don’t know. We really should get a pen pal…
May your arrows fly straight and your aim be true,