Comedy Sketch: The Goth Girl

Raven is a 15-year-old goth who is currently in the middle of a disagreement with her mother outside the local community centre where a ballet class is currently in session.

Mum: I just don’t understand why such a pretty little girl like you wouldn’t want to be a ballet dancer. Poppy are you listening to Mummy?

Raven: My name is Raven, Poppy is dead.

Mum: Raven?

Raven: Yes, I’m a goth called Raven and I long for the day that my soul is swallowed up by the comforting emptiness of oblivion, while my body rots in the ground and is digested thousands of times over by worms.

Mum: Gosh that does sound spiffing, anyway, would you please just give ballet a go? Just to keep Mummy happy? I think it would do you the world of good to socialise in a safe and welcoming environment.

Raven: I already socialise in a safe and welcoming environment

Mum: Committing arson under the railway bridge with the local smack heads is not socialising in a safe or welcoming environment.

Raven: My soul is black like death and I long for the infinite silence.

Mum: That’s lovely, but until the day you pop off this mortal coil, why don’t put on these ballet pumps and tutu and dance like you’re the pretty little princess Mummy wanted.