I’m so angry today, and not just the normal amount of rage like when I punch the steering wheel because some BMW prick has cut me up on a roundabout. I’m talking the kind of rage when I get cut up by some BMW prick and then I get out of the car and start punching my face through his front windscreen.
I’ve been on my current lower dose of antidepressants (50mg every other day) for nearly two weeks and I think it’s finally having an affect on me.
Life today sucks for everyone, of course it does, but it sucks more for me. *stomps feet like a spoilt shitty little child
Ok, so it doesn’t suck more for me than anyone else, but I can shut other people out if they’re becoming too exhausting, I am yet to find a way of shutting myself out when things get too much.
As each day passes the temptation to buy a motorhome and travel and blog my way out of society’s demands and into the free and scary world of a digital nomad life is overwhelming. I’ve found a VW motorhome that I want/can afford and if I were diagnosed with a terminal illness next week I would regret not jumping at the chance to get it.
We have a mortgage, and a fixed term which has another 2 years left, so if we give the keys back to our mortgage provider and tell them to jog the hell on then we owe them around £8k in early repayment fees. This will mean that my VW motorhome will turn into the existing Dacia Sandero that I already own. I may only be 5 foot 8, but I cannot sleep, eat and poo in my Dacia Sandero, plus, if I punch the steering wheel anymore then the car will fail to function properly and I’ll have to get to places using my kick scooter.
So, Jenna, what ya gonna do?
Well, I’m going to avoid the news, social media and negative people at work until the end of days. How’s that?
I don’t think that’s realistic.
Ok, how about I meditate using the “Anger Management” course on my Headspace app, focus on my breathing like I’m some chubby buddha in the Tibetan mountains and just make each day count?
Sounds wanky, but yeah, that’s a better idea.
(After writing this post I got a call from those spam callers who want to ask you “just a few questions”, normally I’m super polite but today I had a go at him telling him to make better life choices to which he put the phone down. Who have I become 😱)