5 Things Not To Say To Someone With Depression

by Jenna
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lesbian mental health blogger

Having depression and anxiety isn’t as fun as you may think. Sure, you get to pop pills and have a good excuse for why you can’t to go to social gatherings, but actually it’s quite tedious; especially because there are some people in life who just want you to cheer the hell up. In light of this I have compiled a list of things that people have said to me in the past and that I regard as being the top 5 worst things to say to someone with depression, apart from “why don’t you just die” – because that would probably be the worst thing to say to anyone, ever. Unless they’re a BMW driver, in which case maybe they should die.

1) Cheer up love

“It might never happen” I’m told frequently, which is normally followed with someone telling me to smile. Is it because I’m a woman that I need to smile or is it because my resting bitch face is so horrendous that I do really need to crack a smile every so often?

2) But you were fine yesterday/this morning/a period of time that has past

We all know that if I was fine yesterday then it means that I will be fine today, because “being fine” is obviously a permanent state that you cannot avert from.


3) You’ve got nothing to be sad about

Sometimes depression is just a chemical imbalance and sometimes it’s cause your life is a cluster funk fest. Most of the time depression is not circumstantial so reminding someone with depression that they’ve “not got it that bad as starving AIDs ridden children in Africa” is just going to make them feel guilty for being undeservedly depressed. 

4) I know how you feel, I felt bad when I…

It must’ve been bad when your cat crapped in your hat while you were wearing it or when you got carpal tunnel from playing with yourself too much, but you will/have gotten over it. Comparing your small life event with someone’s lifelong battle with depression isn’t going to make someone feel better.


5) It’s all in your head

Of course it’s all in my head, everything is in my head. My love for my girlfriend, my psychotic obsession with puppies and my need to eat everything in sight is in my head. It’s not a fact nor is it something that can be measured; it’s just there and it sucks. Sure, some people think it’s the latest fad because who hasn’t got depression? Well lots of people don’t but lots of people do so be a bit more sensitive yeah?

Oh and for those who think it’s just PMT it ain’t. Although having PMT and depression at the same time is as wonderful as you’d imagine it would be; but when you and your girlfriend have both at the same time it’s just an absolute mess.

Are you a depressed lesbian? God forbid there’s more of us; now that you know the five things not to say to someone with depression why not check out the 12 things not to say to a lesbian.

Here are some other absolutely banging posts

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