Paris, An Amazing City If It Wasn’t For All The French People, Lolz jks

Paris, An Amazing City If It Wasn’t For All The French People, Lolz jks

The Louvre & Musée d’Orsay

If you’ve ever seen the DaVinci Code then you’ll know how fictitious it is; it’s NEVER that empty in the Louvre. Everyone wants to see the Mona Lisa and yeah it’s alright, it looks just what you’d expect it to look like. Except they’ll be at least 60 people in front of you also trying to see the painting.

If you like impressionism then I recommend going to the Musée d’Orsay, it’s a LOT more fun than the Lourve. There’s paintings by Edgar Degas, Claude Monet, Paul Gauguin and lots and lots of paintings by Vincent Van Gogh. The gift shop is also at least a 8/10 whereas the Louvre gift shop is only a 7/10.

 

The Eiffel Tower

I Googled the Eiffel Tower to get some more information on it and learnt that not only was is erected in the same year that the Moulin Rouge first opened its doors (in 1889) but it’s also a sexual act. “To Eiffel Tower” someone. I won’t tell you what the act is but I’m sure you will Google it.

Everyone must go up the Eiffel Tower, it’s a right of passage when visiting Paris. I recommend getting the lift up and then walking down because walking down is a lot easier and more enjoyable than walking up and if you get the lift both ways then that’s a bit boring.

 

Some interesting facts about the Eiffel Tower:

  • The Eiffel Tower was once yellow
  • It was built to celebrate the centennial of the French Revolution
  • It was the world’s tallest structure for 40 years
  • Parisian artists petitioned against the “monstrous” structure

Unlike the Empire State Building that saw 18 employees die during the building of the skyscraper, the Eiffel Tower only saw one person die and he wasn’t even working at the time. What he was doing was giving his girlfriend a private tour when he lost his footing on the first level and fell to his death. I imagine quite a few more people have since fallen to their deaths from the Eiffel Tower, quite deliberately. A few years ago jumping off the Eiffel Tower was the 3rd most popular method of suicide in Paris after poisoning and hanging. Crazy french people.

 

Montmartre

Montmartre is definitely the best part of Paris. It’s filled with arty farty types with galleries, bars and spectacular views over Paris. In the main square over 100 artists showcase their work and offer personalised painting, drawing and caricatures. However, they don’t like it if you take pictures so if you’re going to do it be sneaky.

Sitting proudly over Paris at the entrance of Montmartre is the Basilica of Sacré-Cœur. Like all religious buildings it’s as glorious inside as it is outside. Being a lesbian I thought that I may burst into flames when entering the church however no such thing happened. After walking up a shit load of stairs the view looks something like this:

 

Moulin Rouge

The Moulin Rouge is not only a terrible Nicole Kidman film, it’s also a famous cabaret in Paris. It first opened its doors in 1889 but then burnt down in 1915. The Moulin Rouge is the birth place of the can-can, (arguably one of the best dance moves ever created) and it’s also the home of smut and sex. When you walk down the road next to the famous building there is a sense of filth about the place due to the huge number of sex shops, homeless people and prostitutes hanging around.

The first time I visited the place I was on my own walking down the street and a man was standing chatting to another man in the middle of the road when suddenly his trousers fell down. He then continued to talk to his mate as if nothing had happened. I must also add that he wasn’t wearing any pants.

Paris is a lovely city with lots of culture, art, smut and fun things to do. I wouldn’t say it was the most romantic city I’ve ever been to and I’m not really sure why people do say that it’s romantic. Because it’s not.

 

By | 2017-11-10T03:15:30+00:00 May 1st, 2017|

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