I Did A Pee Pee In The Sea Sea On Phi Phi Island And It Was Thrilling

I Did A Pee Pee In The Sea Sea On Phi Phi Island And It Was Thrilling

The trip to Phi Phi Don

At 11:30am the bus arrived outside of the hotel to take us to Phuket Town Pier for our joyous Phi Phi island day tour. The journey took around an hour and the woman behind me spent the entire time snorting and chewing her gum loudly, Suz silently told me not to say anything because the woman looked like she shouldn’t be messed with. When we got off the bus and I looked to see who it was; a very hard faced American woman who, for the entire day, didn’t smile or look like she enjoyed the trip one bit.

Once we had helped ourselves to the buffet that was put on at the pier and accidently stole two drinks from the shop we jumped on the speed boat and made our way to Phi Phi. Our first port of call was Phi Phi Don, a beautiful long stretch of beach with a bustling town just behind, our tour guide told us where the toilets were and said that we had 45 minutes here. The toilets were 50 baht to use so I peed in the sea. And that’s why the island is called Phi Phi.

Monkey Beach

We left Phi Phi Don and made our way to Monkey beach, Viking Cave, Pileh Cove and the beautiful dreamlike Loh Samah Bay. Unlike the other five million tours that were at Monkey Beach we didn’t get off the boat as the monkeys have gotten so used to the humans feeding them that they’ve forgotten to feed themselves and can get aggressive if you don’t give them food.

One boy from another tour gave a tub full of popcorn to a monkey and another was chewing on a water bottle. It was a perfect scene to show how us humans are pretty terrible.

 

Snorkelling with the little fishys

We jumped off the boat just outside of Los Samah Bay and went snorkelling, it was truly beautiful and surreal to see the fishes in out in the clear blue ocean. The photographer handed a piece of banana to me and suddenly all these little fishys came swimming over to get some of the fruity goodness. They even nibbled my fingers, cheeky fishys.

 

ME SNORKLING
Please stop dribbling at the picture of me in a swim suit.

 

Maya Bay

Finally we arrived at Maya Bay, yes where The Beach was filmed, a film that I watched a week before going to Thailand so that I could get as excited about it as Suz. It really was an incredibly idyllic beach, the white sand was the softest thing I’ve ever felt beneath my feet and the sea was so transparent and warm. God it was bloody amazing.

 

My feet in sand
If I didn’t have a tan my entire body would’ve blended in with the sand.

 

We got to the beach around 3pm and there was an average of 400 people there, the tour guide told us that earlier in the day, around 12pm, you would find over 1000 people here. It’s a lovely beach but it’s rather small so I can imagine that it’s pretty mental at 12pm, so much so that the guide said you can’t see the sand for the people.

 

mayabay beach
This is the emptiest photo I took whilst on Maya Bay.

 

Like most places us humans go we leave rubbish and don’t bother to clear it up, even in this beautiful place. I saw a man going along the beach picking up litter and putting it into his plastic bag, but with 1,000’s of people everyday I’m guessing he never reaches the end of the rubbish. At one point Suz ran screaming out of the sea because she thought she saw a jelly fish, it was a plastic bag. Dope.

 

Back to the hotel

Back on the speed boat we travelled back to Phuket. With the sun beaming down and the wind stripping us of any heat we stupidly sat in the sun for the entire journey. Suz got burnt to shit, but I only got burnt a little because I’m more responsible with my sun tan lotion. Cough.

We took another ridiculous bus ride back to the hotel; one bike had a baby being held tightly on it and the bike cut us up at a roundabout. It really is driving at its most stupidest, it’s like everyone is on a suicide mission and no one has taken their driving test.

We got back to the hotel safely but shaken and went for dinner. As we sat on our balcony enjoying a drink and definitely not smoking we saw a large group of Chinese guests arrive at the pool with their pool bags packed and their cossies on. The Chinese jumped into the pool and enjoyed their 10pm swim. Crazy people.

By | 2017-11-10T03:32:37+00:00 April 5th, 2017|

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